Rose Colored Glasses

Georgie was feeling lonely and sad. It was a Tuesday. There was nothing to look forward to in the near term future, just more work and more loneliness. The weekend was a long way off, and even when it did arrive, it didn't hold much promise. The college kids that hang out at the local clubs were all way too young for him. The ones who weren't too young were already taken. He didn't have a lot of friends. Well, really, he didn't have any friends around here, and there was no way he'd be able to go home to see his real friends any time soon.

He walked down the street, staring at his feet, lost in thought. A voice startled him from his navel-gazing. He looked up but didn't see anyone. He thought he'd just imagined it.

“Hey, man, over here,” the voice called to him again.

This time Georgie looked around, but still didn't see anyone.

“Ahem!” the voice came from the doorway next to him.

He looked in the direction, and noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He looked down. There was a very short, elf-like man standing there with a wide grin and a plastic bag in his hands.

“Look, look, man! I got something for you!” the diminutive man spoke in fake-hushed tones, like someone trying to make a drug deal, but not very good at secrecy. He opened his bag and indicated with a nod of his head and waggle of his eyebrows that Georgie should look inside.

Georgie leaned down and peeked into the bag. It was full of cheap plastic sunglasses.

“Take one, man. They're the bomb.”

“Uh,” Georgie didn't know what to do about this strange man. “I don't really need any sunglasses. It's not exactly sunny, is it?” It wasn't. In fact, it was a gray and overcast November day.

“They aren't sunglasses, man. They're reality glasses. Check 'em out. They change everything.” The little man punctuated this last with a wink.

Georgie scowled.

“It takes a little while, man. Your eyes will have to adjust, but trust me, these glasses will change everything.” The small man tried to sound convincing, but Georgie was unmoved. “Man, seriously, you gotta hurry up. I haven't got much time left.”

“What do you mean?”

“DMT is a short acting drug, man, and it took me a while to get to you. I've only got a few more seconds.”

Georgie stepped back, “I didn't take any drugs. What are you talking about?”

“No, stupid! I did. And I don't have much time left here. Take the glasses, or I'll have to do the whole experiment over again.” The elf was visibly annoyed.

Georgie was a little frightened by the guy now, and it seemed like taking a pair of the glasses might be the best way to get out of the situation without things getting weirder. He reached into the bag and closed his hand on a pair of glasses. Just as he did, the little man smiled again. (Long after this incident, Georgie would think about that smile and wonder why it seemed so terrifying and joyous at the same time.)

“Huh!” The elf breathed surprise, “Told ya! Here I -” and then he was gone.

Georgie stood there for a moment, staring at the empty doorway. He would have thought that he'd gone crazy and imagined everything, except that he was still holding the sunglasses in his left hand.

He turned the glasses over in both hands, opened them up, and looked at them. They were made of cheap black plastic with red plastic lenses. There was a sticker on one lens, but the markings were unintelligible. It wasn't any writing that Georgie was familiar with. On the inside of the frames, there was more strange writing in white on the black plastic. Besides that, the glasses looked pretty much like something you could pick up for ten bucks at a gas station or truck stop.

Georgie lifted the glasses to his face and put them on. He actually liked the way everything looked with the red tint. He decided that he'd keep the glasses on and tell people that he had decided to see the world through rose colored glasses to improve his attitude. The idea amused him, and in fact, his mood was noticeably improved.

Within a few minutes, the red tint shifted, and everything seemed sort of orangy. A few minutes later, and things seemed more yellow in the glasses. Georgie took off the glasses to look at the lenses again. They were red lenses. It was just that his eyes were adjusting to the tint.

With his spirits uplifted and his newly tinted perspective on the world, Georgie decided to walk up to the park and people watch for a while. There are always people at the park playing pick up games of soccer or ultimate frisbee, walking their dogs or watching their kids at the playground. Somehow, the idea of just watching people made him feel giggly now. There was something funny about it, something that just bubbled up inside him at the thought of it.

He walked up the hill toward the park. As he got to the edge of the grass and trees, Georgie realized that he was skipping. He stopped himself self-consciously, and bit his lips to stifle a laugh. He walked more carefully now over to a bench and sat down. He sat back and just took in the view.

It seemed like their were a lot more kids in the park today than normal. So many short...

The short man from the doorway was jumping up and down, waving his hands right in front of him. Georgie stopped smiling and stared at the man in surprise.

“What's going on?” Georgie asked the guy when he got over the initial shock.

The elf jumped up and down with glee, and then tugged on the sleeves of several other elves one after another to pull them into Georgie's line of sight. It was then that Georgie realized that he didn't see any short people out of the corners of his eyes, in the areas of his vision not covered by the sunglasses.

Georgie pulled the lenses down his nose to look over the top of the glasses. The world returned to its normal coloration, and he could see a small group of college kids playing ultimate on the grass. He pushed the glasses back into place, and the elf and his friends came back into view with the tinted color.

The elves were all smiles and self-congratulatory slaps on the back. A couple of them held hands and danced around in a circle that fell outside of Georgie's tinted vision and then returned several times.

Georgie took the glasses off and folded them. He looked around the park. There were no short people at all, except for the three young children playing on the climbing structure under the close eye of their parents. He stood up, his face struck in stone now, his mood sober as can be. He pushed the glasses into the cargo pocket on his pants. He walked back out of the park and went straight home.

At home, Georgie put the strange glasses on top of his dresser, then he went into the living room to sit down and watch some television.