love

Our bodies tangled
Become a tapestry,
A delicate weaving
of flesh and feeling.
With each movement
The art is drawn anew.
Me beside you,
You around me,
Us together in a Rorschach splotch
That codes an idea,
Speaks in motion,
What it doesn't say in words.

Our bodies,
Tangled together,
Are far too comfortable
And sweet.
I cannot let go of you,
So we repeat
The turning over,
The realignment,
The fresh new weaving
Of arms and legs and bodies and heads,
Until we settle back again.

Long ago I wrote a series of poems in a little black book while taking buses and trains to and from work at Amazon.co.uk in Slough, Berkshire England. I wrote a title on the front cover in shiny silver pen, "The Commuter Poems". A few years after that, I went to a workshop on micro-publishing with my son Noé at the Bumbershoot arts festival in Seattle, Washington. When we left the workshop, we each knew we had projects that we could produce that same weekend.

My heart is sore.
  Your words slap at me.
My heart is weak.
  Your words batter me.
My heart breaks.
  Your words tear at me.

I wish that love were unbroken and unthinking.
I wish that thought only built without me breaking.
I wish your arms were 'round me ever.
I wish our sex were made of fire and endeavor.
I wish you would not turn away,
I wish you would not next time say
   you hate me,
   you loathe me,
   we have no place together.

My heart weeps
    for it loves you better.

This one dream
Seemed clear
But lost its definition.

This one heart
Seemed good
Until it broke in two.

This one path
Seemed fine
Before the flooding came.

I sure miss you,
Wish I could go back
  and stay with you,
Lay 'round in bed
  and play with you,
Drive 'round the country
  all day with you,
Yeah, I sure miss you.

I love how we always
  hung out together,
In the kitchen
  we cooked together,
Back on the couch
  read a book together,
Yeah, I miss you.

Won't you be mine
  once again, my sweet?
Can't I be yours
  'till the end, my sweet?
Why don't we
  patch it back up, my sweet?
Cuz, I miss you.

Remember all the fun
  that we had before?
Remember how we thought
  we could be one before?
Remember all the plans
  that we'd done before?
Don't you miss that?

Cuz, I sure miss you...

A stone in my heart,
And a lump in my throat.
A hole where my stomach used to be.
A tear with no eye,
And teeth ground to dust,
And all I can do is wonder why.
And all I can do is wonder when.
And all I can do is wonder how,
    I can ever get over you.

This is the shape of my day
formed by the bumps in the rug,
our conversations each morning and night,
and the smiles you bring to my face
as I hear your voice
change from sadness or boredom
to laughs
at my silly stories.

You are my favorite drug.
Your pheromones make me high,
make me lose all strength,
and when I look into your eyes
there is nothing left of me
but what you have in your hands.

and then you leave me up,
held in a climax of your intensity for hours,
long after you are gone
long after you've gone on
     to other things, other women, other dreams
and I am just a faint memory in the back of your mind.